The Beauty In Your Season

What is your favorite season?

I think I would have to say that my favorite season is summer.

The beautiful weather, longer days, country concerts, and cookouts. I absolutely love being outside, adventuring, and enjoying the warm weather. 

But what if just because I love summer and it is my favorite season, I refused to enjoy the other seasons?

I would miss out on the beautiful color changing leaves in fall, drinking warm hot chocolate in the winter, and the newness of spring.

There are so many beautiful and wonderful things to enjoy about the other seasons if I choose to see them. 

This is true about life seasons too.

Just last week I went to visit an old friend that I hadn’t seen in almost 2 years. Walking in to her house brought back a flood of wonderful memories. Sitting on her back porch the first night I met her as we talked about our future trip to Africa. The many Saturday morning bible studies at her kitchen table, sharing my heart with some of my favorite people who have since moved away.

I couldn’t believe the little lump in my throat I felt as I thought back on these precious moments. I remember those days so well. I was dreaming about the future. I was working towards leaving and moving and growing. DId I know at the time that there was so much right there in those moments?

This same thing happened to me again last week when I went to share about my year long mission trip at the church that helped support me all along the way. Walking in to the building where I had spent so much time and seeing so many new faces and how much things were kind of the same but not “mine” anymore. I realized how special that time in my life had been even though at the time I had viewed it as a transition or a “stepping stone”.

I think most people have a “season” of life that they glorify above the others. It could be marriage, parenthood, or promotion, but we have a tendency to always look to that next thing. 

I am realizing that each season has its challenges and its blessings. Even when I finally made it to my mission trip and had the very thing I had worked so hard for, there were still unique struggles and challenges. In each new season, God gives us exactly what we need to become more like Him. He gives us Himself in ways that comfort us, grow us, and encourage us but we can only get the most from life when we choose to look for and be greatful for what is right in front of us.

I challenge you to ask yourself what is the season of life you glorify the most? Why?

What do you have right now that you can treasure and value more?

How is God most present with you now, in this season?

Are You Buying Your Own Life?

I have spent the past 7 months traveling the world with a group of 50 people. Imagine going to a different country every single month. Imagine trying to get settled in to a new daily routine every month. Imagine the time changes, the different languages, the different people, and different cultural norms. Every month, everything changes. Wouldn’t you think that of all the times in life, this would be a time of complete focus on the moment? Wouldn’t you think that with all these changes, there wouldn’t be any time for boredom or that old familiar feeling of discontentment with gnawing thoughts that you need to know your next step in life?

But all of these thoughts and feelings are still here. We may have bungee jumped off Victoria Falls on a Saturday and watched Zebras grazing while sipping a cold drink that night. We may have spent the week teaching English in a small African village followed by preaching to the church congregation on Sunday. And still, there is this common thread of conversation that followed me here and seems to be on everyone else’s mind as well:

“WHAT’S NEXT?”

What’s next?! Why the heck are we talking about what’s next? Why have I spent my entire life asking this question? This is my dream. I am living my dream, and I am spending major chunks of time talking about what is next. Am I wasting this precious “now” by thinking and talking about something that I wouldn’t be able to stop even if I try? What’s next will always come, whether we analyze it or not. Is it time to stop living in a perpetual state of uncertainty and anxiety about the future?

I have realized that I CAN choose to live in the moment, but I can only do this by investing myself. I can only do this by “buying in” to my own life. It is the difference between being an observer or choosing to be actively involved in what is going on around you. It is the difference between showing up at an assigned time for ministry and leaving the second you are “off duty” and choosing to step out of the box and see how you can invest in ways that others may not be seeing.

When I started to realize that my thoughts, opinions, and gifts are unique and valuable, I relaized I need to be HERE. The same for you,no matter where “here” is for you. You are still the only one who has what you have to offer. If you don’t show up all the way, and “buy in”, the world misses out…and you miss out.

So, how do you choose to buy in to your own life?

1. Be intentional and curious about relationships: Who can you connect with? How are they feeling? Where did they come from? What are their goals, hopes, and dreams? The questions are endless. Building relationships right where you are is one way to stay present and invest in the moment.

2. Look for ways to invest: Is there someone who needs help with something? A lonly person who could use a friend? Is there a way that your specific gifts can add to this moment? The answer is always yes, that is why God put you in this moment. Sometimes it is as simple as being there to support another person’s goal or idea, but choosing to be active and attentive makes all the difference.

I have found that when I look around at what is here, now, I don’t have time to ask, “what’s next?” There is always more than enough right now, if you give now a chance. It starts with giving the gift of yourself, and choosing to buy your own life instead of waiting for some idealized future. The truth is, as I have found this past 7 months, it doesn’t matter so much what your circumstances are, you have a choice to live your life with all that you have in any given moment. If you can do that now, you can be confident that when the “what’s next” gets here, you will be able to appreciate and enjoy it as well.

Do You Need A Different Kind of Diet for 2016?

It’s another new year, 2016, time for New Year’s resolutions! One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is the promise to go on a diet. I hear it year after year from friends and family. Some people try to limit their portion sizes, others will try smoothies, pills, or meal repleacements. Of course it is important and necessary to be concerned with our health, but maybe this year its time to focus on a different kind of diet. Maybe this year we need to take this concept of “dieting” and apply it to a new area in our lives.

What do you think is the main reason why people are so obsessed with getting their weight under control? I have a hard time believing that it is for health because if that was the case, there wouldn’t be such questionable methods for achieving a smaller waist line. If your main concern is your health, you don’t use chemicals, pills, or extreme calorie restriction.

If the goal of losing weight doesn’t have to do with health, than what is it? It is because people have a longing to feel accepted, admired, and valued. Sometimes in our culture we can make the mistake of confusing a few things…like equating skinny with beauty and beauty with worth.

Our worth should not be dependent upon our outward appearance, but unfortunately is all to easy to make this connection, especially if you are surrounded by shallow and self-centered people.

This is why I believe it is time for a new diet! It is time for a social diet. A social diet is when you “trim the fat” from your social life and reevaluate whose ideas, values, and attitudes you are ingesting.

We spend so much time concerned about the outward appearance of our bodies, but appearance begins on the inside. You can hardly have a hope of getting your body to look consistently healthy on the outside if you do not have a healthy mind and soul. This begins by being intentional about who you allow in your life, and especially who in your life has the power of influence over you.

This year, I am not going to make any promises about going to the gym more and trying to eat smaller portion sizes. I know full well what I need to do to have a healthy body and so do you. A New Year’s resolution may motivate me for a month, but it is not a long term, sustainable change. It is a better use of my time to focus on inner change this New Year’s. The desire to take care of my body needs to come from a place of gratitude and empowerment…not from a place of dissatisfaction and powerlessness.

This year, I am choosing to take smaller portion sizes of negativity, gossip, comparison, competition, striving, stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. With this choice comes the choice of being more careful about who I am spending my time around. Even if there are people we HAVE to be around (like co-workers), we can still kindly block the unfruitful things they say or do and refuse to dwell on them.

Join me in 2016 for this different kind of diet.

Pay close attention to how you feel when you around people. If you leave feeling bad about yourself, it may be time for a smaller portion.

Let’s never forget that you will always get what you settle for. If you can’t look in the mirror and see the gift of life that God has given you, it is time for a diet…cut out those negative voices and start filling up on something new and satisfying.

How The World Will Know Us: Christians Please Read

Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally judged by a Christian?

My guess would be that your hand is raised.

Why is it that Christians have a reputation for being judgmental and for forcing their agenda on people? Even from one denomination to another, I can’t tell you how many harsh comments I have heard about how the “others” do things.

Christians! Listen to what Jesus said:

“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.” John 13:34-35

We really could do a better job at this, don’t you think? It is so easy to love your best friend or the people who admire you and build you up, but this is not where we are shown to be different!

People will see Jesus in us when we are able to love the other denominations and not say harsh and critical comments about them. People will see Jesus when we are able to forgive. People will see Jesus in us when we stop gossipping. People will see Jesus in us when we are patient with the members in our congregation who are still growing and in need of grace. People will see Jesus in us when we lift each other and link arms in unity.

So many people know what Christians are against…when will we start showing them what we are FOR.

We are for love. We are for peace. We are for joy. We are for generosity. We are for unity. We are for kindness. We are for patience. We are for grace.

When will we stop looking for and expecting perfection in the people around us, and even ourselves?

When will we stop making it our ultimate goal to be “right”?

No one will ever “get it all right”. This is life. We are human. There is no “getting it right”.

There is only one day at a time, finding God’s grace in each moment, letting Him show you where you can be the one to shine a little of His light in a dark place and letting His love empower you to just love the next person He puts in front of you.

I challenge us as Christians, to link arms. Let the world see us by our love for each other. Let the world see us for what we are for instead of what we are against.

Don’t Be Scared To Walk Alone

When I first started this missions journey, I was scared. Surprisingly, I wasn’t at all daunted by the idea of leaving everything and traveling to some of the poorest places in the world to serve. No. That was what I felt sure about. I knew beyond a doubt I was being called to something that others may describe as being, “scary”, but it didn’t scare me at all. So what held me back? I was held back by fear of people.

Fear of people?

Yes.

I was scared that people would not believe in my mission. I was scared that people would judge me for fundraising and view me as “begging for money”. I was scared that people would see it as irresponsible to leave a job and friends and just go.

I was scared that my friends would move on without me and forget about me. I was scared that I would come back completely different and unrelatable.

UGH!

All of my fears were rooted in the fear of people.

I still struggle with these same fears.

I have bungee jumped off of Victoria Falls. I have eaten a snake. I have thrown live grenades and fired machine guns (not on this mission trip, that’s another story, LOL).

I don’t get it. How am I still paralyzed by emotional fears?

Once again I am struck by the power that people have over each other. Once again I am dismayed by the power that hurtful and unkind words have to keep someone stuck and insecure. Once again I am determined to be only encouraging, kind, and supportive because I know how much power I have over people.

Psalm 118:6 says, “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

This is the TRUTH.

So many times, we allow lies, and fear, and judgment, and mean people to hinder our lives.

I encourage you, don’t stop following what God is calling you to do just because you are afraid of what people will say, think, or do.

I have learned that for every person who has left me along the way, talked negatively about me behind my back, or even criticized me openly…the Lord has provided someone else who is an encouragement and a light.

Here’s the catch…I had to LET GO of the other people first.

So here is my advice:

Figure out the negative voices in your head. Figure out the voices telling you “no” and judging you. And WALK AWAY.

You can be kind, you can be loving, you can be respectful. That’s who you are. But you can not compromise your destiny for someone who sits on the sidelines yelling irrelevant and discourages messages.

Don’t be afraid to take a few steps alone, God has people for you just one step away and you will know them by their ability to make you feel like anything God calls you to is absolutely possible.

Trusting Your Growth to God

Recently, I have been going through one of those “self-improvement”phases. I was asked to be a leader of a team of 7 girls as we travel and serve around Southeast Asia. Even though I have held leadership positions quite a bit in the past, I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy when asked to lead. I wanted to take this opportunity as a learning experience, but I also had an underlying desire to not only lead well, but to avoid criticism.

I purchased a few books that I felt would help me grow as a leader and I spent every waking moment of free time going through these books, hoping to learn from the wisdom of those before me. Of course, there is nothing wrong with seeking wisdom from books or mentors but I was starting to feel irritable in my day to day life. I was analyzing my every word and trying to see if it lined up with the attributes and qualities of the leaders from my books.

I started to feel distant from God and I was feeling more stressed than peaceful, a good sign that the Holy Spirit was asking me to slow down and ask Him for clarification.

When I finally got the message that I needed to sit still, stop thinking and analyzing, and just listen for God, He brought to mind Philippians 1:6.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

God reminded me that while I was busy stressing myself out over these books (and simultaneously missing out on opportunities to interact with members of the team), He was fully in control of the rate of my growth. Speed reading through books, stressing myself out about needing to improve myself, was not going to make me grow unless God was the one behind it, and in this case, I was taking matters in to my own hands.

Ever since I came to this realization and started to actively pray for dependence on God and for Him to be the one bringing about my growth I have had so much more peace and the ability to acknowledge that I am right where I am supposed to be, and exactly who I am supposed to be.

Now, if I desire to improve in a certain area, I can seek growth in a way that produces peace instead of anxiety, because I know that I can trust God to finish the work He has started in me, in His way, not mine. I feel like I have been freed from the pressure to reach a “destination” and am now working on enjoying the journey which involves stepping out in faith, learning from mistakes, and being content with where and who I am.

Once again, I am reminded of how even the best intentions can quickly turn sour if we do not have our hearts in the right place. Of course it a wonderful thing to seek growth and self-improvement, and I believe that we all have the responsibility to work on becoming our best selves, but when it becomes a source of anxiety, it is a huge warning sign that you are putting your faith in yourself and your own abilities when they should be focused on the Lord.

What about you? What are some areas of your life that cause you anxiety? Could this be a sign that you have put too much faith in yourself and need to re-acknowledge your dependency on God?

Gratitude and Generosity

It is a conflicting experience to spend five months in impoverished areas of the world. I have bathed by dipping a bowl in to a huge basin of water and pouring it over me. I have been to church’s where the bathroom is a hole in the ground. I have seen homes that are the size of my bedroom back home. I have witnessed kitchens that are just a pot on a pile of coals. These people may not have much but they are still living in community, building relationships, and worshipping the Lord. Are they really that much different from us, aside from not having as comfortable of a lifestyle?

I have realized that all of these uncomfortable experiences have become normal to me, just like anything else that happens over and over again, it is now “just another day”. This month I share a room with two wild geckos. They live behind the bookshelf. Every night one of them does his mating call several times and wakes me up, but even this, has become normal to me now.

When I meet these people in all these different countries, I am inspired by their devotion to the Lord. In each place I have been, there have been devoted people who believe in Jesus and because of this, they are givers. They give of their time, energy, and what little resources they have. They aren’t expecting anything in return.

At first, I was conflicted about this and wondering why God has blessed with me SOOOO much opportunity. Just living in the United States opens up unlimited possibilities. There are so many job opportunities. Even if your goal is just to feed yourself, save up some money, and hit the road for a few months. I know people who do that, going from one restaurant to another, and traveling the U.S.

In the U.S., it can be all about you if you want it to be. You can literally spend every cent that you make on yourself and in pursuit of your own happiness. You can dedicate your every waking minute to the advancement of your career, your healthy lifestyle habits, or your personal pleasure.

As a Christian, seeing this huge imbalance in the world, it leaves me with so many questions.

What am I supposed to do with these opportunities that God has given me? Am I supposed to literally give everything to others? Is it ok if I use treat myself? How much can I treat myself?

In seeking God’s answer to these questions I have come to realize that I am not in control. I am so thankful that I am not in control. God has chosen to give me blessings. This is the life he designed for me, and to feel guilty for that would not be a proper response to a gift.

I am realizing the importance of listening to God’s leading. Sometimes He is calling me to give more than I ever would be comfortable giving. Sometime’s He is allowing me to treat myself…even to something like a massage.

The lessons I have been learning are gratitude and generosity. I am thankful for each time I walk in to a cafe’ and there is wifi,air conditioning, and iced coffee. These things are no longer assumed. I am thankful for warm showers and I know when they are a normal thing for me again, I will try really hard to cherish them. I am thankful for the ability to go back to the states after this 11 months and guiltlessly enjoy my life there and pursue my dreams.

God has given me blessings and now I have to never forget what I have seen around the world. I am not entitled to anything. I must always be willing to give. God has given to me so generously, and now I am trusted to give to others generously. This will be in time, energy, and resources.

How wonderful it is that we serve a God who delights to design such wonderfully blessed lives? He created you for yours, how will you enjoy it? How will you give generously to show your gratitude?

Finding the Magic in the Moment

A few years ago I heard about this AMAZING opportunity called the World Race. It is an 11 month mission trip where you go to a different country each month to volunteer with different humanitarian organizations. I remember thinking, “That would be so amazing, but there’s no way I could do that!”
Still, I prayed a little prayer that if God could make it happen, I would be all for it.
Flash forward to today and I am on month 5 of this incredible journey. I still can’t believe that God chose me to do something so adventurous. I really just wanted to settle down and be “normal”. Still, when I was working the typical “9 to 5”, I was SOOO bored. I took this boredom to mean that I was being called to travel the world.

I definitely believe that the boredom I was feeling at my last job was a way of God communicating to me that it was time to take the leap of faith and go on this trip, I don’t discount that. However, I am noticing something during this new life of mine. This new life where I am literally in a new country each month. This new life where absolutely nothing is constant except for the fact that I am continuously pushed out of my comfort zone. I am noticing that I am still bored.

“What?!”, you may be thinking.

I’m still bored and discontent half the time here.

I started really trying to figure this out. How is this possible that I can be on this crazy, adventurous journey and then all of the sudden I’m sitting in a classroom in Africa, waiting for my turn to teach, and I’m bored out of my mind and wishing I were back home?

It’s because it is me, not my circumstances. All of the things I was at home, I am the exact same way.

I still work out the same amount. I still worry the same amount. I still get to far ahead of myself thinking about the future.

It doesn’t make much sense. When I was home all I could do was dream about being here, when I am here I dream about being home.

What’s a girl to do?

Well, what I have found is that in these moments of discontentment, I am missing something. I am missing something that God has for me right in that very moment, right, exactly where I am.

I came up with this theory last month and I decided, when I feel bored or discontent, instead of letting my mind wonder to a false reality that does not exist, I am going to stay here and look for God in this moment.

The first time it happened was at the school in Zambia. My class had an exam that day and I was not needed so I was sitting in the office bored out of my mind. Then I thought, “no”. I’m not doing this for the rest of my life. What else is there here?

I walked outside and started walking around the school. I walked to a few of the houses next to the school, not expecting to find any english speakers, but surprise! I found a man who spoke perfect English. He was outside with his wife and kids, making some kind of fruit drink. He invited me to sit down. he shared some of this interesting fruit with me (kind of like a grape/plum combo) and we chatted for about an hour. He told me all about his business and the different fruits and goods he sells in each season.

I was so rewarded and refreshed from that conversation. I came back to the office with new energy for the day. I knew that was what I was there for that day. Since then, I have been continuously looking for the magic in those dull moments and they are there!

What about you? Will you find the magic in each moment today? Will you be aware that you are exactly where you are supposed to be for a reason?

Don’t Let Others Determine Who You Are

This is now month 5 of my 11 month mission trip and I feel like I have been learning and observing so many new things about God, relationships, and the world in general. So far I have served in Albania, Romania, Greece, Malawi, Zambia and now Cambodia.

I think the MOST surprising thing to me (this is surprising) has been realizing the MANY different personalities that make up the body of Christ. You know, you sign up for an 11 month mission trip thinking that you will be surrounded by people who are “just like you.” EEK. Well first of all, that was pretty self-centered of me to assume that other missionaries would be “just like me”. I have learned that God makes people in ALL different varieties from quiet, to funny, to serious, to loud, to down right socially awkward (I’m sure I can fit that one more than I like to admit).

It was challenging to be thrown in to this new season of life with 55 other people who I assumed would all be outgoing, warm, welcoming, accepting, and interested in me. I was sorely mistaken. First of all, many of the people on my squad are not interested in me. I can tell by the way they don’t make eye contact with me when I walk by. I can tell by the way they don’t keep the conversation going.

I was hurt by this at first. I was confused as well. I started to feel insecure about myself.
“Am I not worth getting to know?”
“Am I boring”
“What’s wrong with me that i’m not best friends with all of these 55 people?”

But then I realized something so important that will be an important thing for me to understand when I come home.

Jesus did not give us a model “personality type”. Who am I to say someone should be outgoing? Who am I to say that someone should be interested in getting to know me? I think these are wonderful traits of a friend and people enjoy being around warm people…but this is not something that determines salvation, or is a necessary component of being a Christian.

Don’t get me wrong, the bible clearly teaches that we are to love everyone and I believe that ideally that would mean having a personality that does communicate interest and acceptance, but not everyone is there, and that is OK.

After spending more and more time with my missions group and hearing people share bits and pieces of their stories, I have realized that a lot of this perceived, “coldness” or “disinterest”, actually stems from insecuritues. Many people have chosen to build walls because they have been rejected or misunderstood in the past.

So, if you are someone, like me, who just has that personality that is in tune with people around you. If you are a little more bubbly than others, instead of getting discouraged by the less “warm” people in your life, move toward them. Go out of your way to make them feel warm. It is not easy, and sometimes it is really awkward. But, will you become cold because someone is cold, or will you stay true to yourself?

I am learning to not take ANYTHING personally anymore. Trust me, its usually not personal. Maybe it is personal and the person just doesn’t like you. That’s on them and that shouldn’t cause you to stifle your own personality. But 9 times out of 10 people are not cold because of you.

So, the lesson that I have learned as a missionary is this:

Be kind because you are a kind person (not because someone else is kind to you)

respect everyone because you are a respectable person (not because they have earned it)

The list could go on and on and the point is, be who you are regardless of who others are. Just keep on shining your light in this dark world and don’t expect for that light to always be reflected back to you.

Jesus sees you and he loves you, and He sees them too, and He loves them too. Just be patient with people’s progress.

All Different and All Beautiful

“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” – Psalm 133: 1

Have you ever noticed that when people don’t understand something or appreciate something they have a tendency to label it as “bad” or “wrong”? Are we naturally threatened by things that are different from us? I’m honestly disgusted by this side of humanity that seems to be the reason behind racism and discrimination in general. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t make it wrong. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it bad.

Can we all just get more comfortable with saying, “I don’t understand that” or maybe just acknowledging that another person’s way of life, though not for us, still deserves respect and honor?

Sometimes in Christian circles it feels like everyone is competing to have the “right” answer. Topics are often looked at as “right or wrong” and “good or bad”. Personally, I believe this is an unproductive way of looking at the world. If everything had a black and white answer that could be looked up research style in the bible, wouldn’t it eliminate the need for prayer and reliance on God? My experience with God involves a lot of not knowing…and being ok with that. A relationship with God does not involve having all the answers…it involves faith and struggle because there is tension between our limited human understanding and God’s way of doing things. Yes, it makes life feel safer when we can label and define. We get to feel like we are in control, like we hold the power to judge and make decisions on other people’s worth. Do you really think that’s what Jesus had in mind for us as followers of him? To spend our lives turned inward analyzing ourselves and others?

This is the same God that created the sunset, ocean, rainforest, mountains, and stars. This is a God of variety. This is a God of color, abundance, and life. You know how I feel when I’m in a room of people heatedly discussing some trivial matter like which version of the bible is the “right” one? I feel bored. That’s the colorless, tasteless, bland life.

Have you ever heard the saying about Jesus being the light? As Christians we are called to be the light. Do you know that visible light is made up of different colors? When light passes through a lens or prism it is dispersed in to different colors of the rainbow. Doesn’t it make sense that when Jesus shines his light through us, being that we are all different, we would each shine him in a slightly different shade?

I think that we need to be more aware of the beauty in every different shade of Jesus around us. I don’t think Jesus wanted us to focus so much on “right and wrong” because what he really stressed was love. He said a whole, whole lot about love. Somehow, we tend to overlook that in our quest to be right. If Jesus calls us to live together in unity, but also made us each different, he knows that we are going to have to “agree to disagree” on some things for the sake of unity. Let’s not make our goal as Christians to be who can “get it right” but maybe to be who can love, give, respect, honor, and forgive. Just like the colors of the rainbow, we can all be different and still uniquely beautiful.

One way to line your attitudes and motives up with Christ is with the biblical description of love from 1 Corinthians 13. Ask yourself, “Are my thoughts/words/actions:

Patient?

Kind?

Humble?

From a place of contentment?

Forgiving?

Truthful?

Genuinely desiring the best for the other person?”

If you can’t honestly answer yes to the above filters…maybe just let go of that for a while and spend a little time admiring the beauty around you! 🙂